ljubav..ljubomora..ceznja..bol..i tome slicno..

Vreme prolazi.Cak i onda kada se to cini nemgucim.Cak i onda kada svaki otkucaj sekundare boli poput pulsiranja krvi iza modrice.Prolazi neravnomerno, u cudnim trzajima i razvucenim zatisjima,ali prolazi.Cak i za mene...

06.06.2010.

:((((

Ja sam najveci baksuz na svetu.. :/ ne moze da mi krene..jednostavno ne moze.. ne znam zasto se trudim.. nece..jednostavno..neka sila gore me toliko mrzi i cini sve da meni bude odvratno.. pitam se dokle i sta sam ja svima dodjavola uradila??? ne mogu vise ni da se trudim.. sjajna sam glumica ali ja vise ne mogu ni da glumim da sam srecna..ne mogu vise da se kezim i pravim se da mi je sve lepo,da nemam problema.. o ljubavi da ne pricam.. taman je poceo neko da mi se svidja i ja sam to unistila..nije mi jasno kako ni sta sam uradila ali taj decko mi se jedva javi.. :((((((((((((((( ne mogu vise da podnesem ovo..  Sta da radim?

23.05.2010.

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Hoce li da mi krene nekad? Ne mogu vise da zivim ovako!!!!!!  Sve mi lose ide... Ne mogu bre.. dodje mi da okoncam ovaj moj bedni zivot..

12.05.2010.

:(((((((

Hocu li ikada prestati da ga volim? Prica  kako ga ja nazivam pogrdnim imenima,kako ja njemu necu da se javim.. kako se on meni javio i to nekoliko puta.. Strasno? Zasto to radi? Volim ga bre..Zelim da pricam s njim,da mu kazem da sve to nije istina i da je on mene ispalio i povredio i da me boli.. Sta da radim? Jednostavno ne mogu da mu odolim ..  Ima najlepse oci na svetu i obozavam kad me pogleda,a to cesto radi? Zasto ja? Nisam nikome nista lose ucinila da mi se ovo dogadja? :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

"Sto znace tvoji pogledi kad sve je gotovo,sruseni su mostovi od tebe odavno"

05.05.2010.

02.12.2009-04.01.2010

Zato prokleto ne mogu da te zaboravim???Zasto? Svaki pokusaj je uzaludan! Umirem..Vec 4 meseca ja umirem..umirem od tuge.. vec cetri meseca osecam ovu neopisivu bol.. Ne mogu..Kunem ti se..Ne mogu da te ne volim.. Mogu da te ignorisem,mogu da te ne gledam,mogu da ne razgovaram sa tobom..sve me to boli ali mogu da podnesem...Ne mogu da podnesem da mi nisi u blizini..Znam ignorisem te..znam ponekad pogledas me..ali meni je dovoljno samo da znam da si tu..Mom srcu je dovoljno samo da je na metar od tvog ... da kucaju u istom ritmu..mada ti to ne znas.. vidim te na svakom "nasem mestu",u svakoj nasoj pesmi,osecam miris tvog parfema... a eto danas je oblacno..bas kao onih nasih dana..pada kisa i hladno je,a u tebi i meni prolece.. secas se kako si mi grejao ruke?? secas li se ljubavi,kada smo se valjali po snegu..brojali zvezde...ljubili se na kisi... setis li se nekad nasih dana ljubavi? mene sve tako podseca na tebe..na nas.. od kad je tvoja ruka prestala da dodiruje moju ja nisam ziva..Borim se sa sobom..sa svetom..borim se da ne priznam da osecam ovu ogromnu bol koja me unistava..svakim danom mi razdire deo po deo tela... Dosadilo mi je da se smejem i glumim nedodirljivu..ja to vise ne mogu..  juce sam bila u pozoristu..na mestu gde se rodila nasa ljubav..sve je bilo isto.. i ljudi..i svetla..i pozornica...samo na sceni nismo bili ti i ja..i niko te nije zagrlio kada si zavrsio tacku..i niko me nije zagrlio kada sam zavrsila tacku.. i niko ti nije namestao frizuru i smejao se istoj..i nikog nisi zvao bucko..i nikog nisam zvala svinjo... posle tebe ja ne zelim nikoga.. pokusavam ... da dopadne mi se.. ali onda prodjes ti i sve opet..ponovo..sve se vraca na staro.. ljubavi..javi se..molim te.. umirem..a dovoljno je samo jedno volim te..

01.05.2010.

On nije normalan!!

Ja ne znam koji problem ima taj decko sa mnom..Nista mu nisam uradila da me toliko mrzi... Njegova sestra kao nesto "pokusava " da nas pomiri ..makar da razgovarmo..ja joj govorim da to ne radi vise ali se ponasam potpuno normalno..a on kao potpuni idiot ..mislim decko o'ladi malo sta sam ti dodjavola uradila?? :\\

29.04.2010.

Moulin Rouge (omiljeni film,omiljena scena..nazalost jos ne znam kako se ubacuju klipovi)

Satine:
I'm dying
I was a fool to believe
a fool to believe
it all ends today
yes it all ends today

Zidler:
send Christian away
only you can save him

Satine:
he'll fight for me

Zidler:
yes, unless he believes you don't love him

Satine:
what?

Zidler
you're a great actress Satine
make him believe you don't love him

Satine:
no!

Zidler:
use your talent to save him
hurt him, hurt him to save him
there is no other way
the show must go on, Satine
we're creatures of the underworld
we can't afford to love

Satine:
Today's the day when dreaming ends

Zidler:
Another hero, another mindless crime
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime
On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?

Zidler & Chorus:
Whatever happens, we leave it all to chance
Another heartache, another failed romance
On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?

The show must go on
The show must go on

Outside the dawn is breaking on the stage
that holds our final destiny

The show must go on
The show must go on

Satine:
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on

Zidler & Chorus:
The show must go on
The show must go on

Satine, Zidler & Chorus:
I'll top the bill, I'll own the kill
I have to find the will to carry on...

All:
...with the
On with the
On with the show!

Zidler:
On with the show!
On with the show!
The show must go on!

28.04.2010.

Cudno je kako je zivot tuzan kad jedna osoba nije tu..kad zivis medju hiljade ljudi,a mislis samo na nju..

a ja...ja zivim za svako tvoje cao....za svaki tvoj pogled....za svaki tvoj osmeh.....za svaku tvoju misao poklonjenu meni...za svaku tvoju rec...za svaki tvoj poljubac.....za svaku tvoju jebenu poruku.....za svaki tvoj dodir....zivim za tebe....VOLIM TE....tako te ludo volim......i jos uvek drhtim od tvog pogleda.....iz nekih starih razloga.... 02.12.2009. Veljko volim te!!!

28.04.2010.

He was skater boy..She was a punk girl..

He was a boy she was a girl
can I make it anymore obvious?

She was a punk, he did hip-hop
What more can I say?

She wanted him,he'd never tell
secretly he wanted her as well
but all of his friends, stuck up their nose
they had a problem with her baggy clothes.

He was a skater boi,
she said see you later boi
She wasn't good enough for him
he had a pretty face
but his head was up in a space
he needed to come back down to earth

Five years from now, he sits at home
Feeding the baby he's all alone

he turns on T.V., guess who he sees
 Punk girl rocking up MTV

he calls up his friends, they already know
And they've all got tickets to see her show

he tags along, and stands in the crowd
Looks up at the girl that he turned down

He was a skater boi
She said see ya later boi
SHe wasn't good enough for him
Now she's a superstar
Slammin on her guitar
Does your pretty face see what she's worth?
He was a skater boi
She said see ya later boi
SHe wasn't good enough for him
Now she's a superstar
Slammin on her guitar
Does your pretty face see what she's worth?


Sorry boy, but you missed out
Well tough luck that girl's mine now

We are more than just good friends
This is how the story ends

Too bad that you couldn't see
See the women that girl could be

There is more than meets the eye
I see the soul that is inside

He's just a boy and I'm just a girl
can I make it anymore obvious?

We are in love, haven`t you heard?
How we rock each others world!

im with the skaterboi
I said see ya later boi
I'll be backstage after the show
I'll be at the studio
Singing the song we wrote
About a boy you used to know.
im with the skaterboi

I said see ya later boi
I'll be backstage after the show
I'll be at the studio
Singing the song we wrote
About a boy you used to know.

28.04.2010.

When you're gone..

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And when you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

And when you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah

And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And when you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

And when you're gone
All the words I need to hear will always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you

27.04.2010.

V i N

Nisu se jos smuvali..nadam se da nece skoro..V volim te..volecu te zauvek.. Nikad vise necu osetit ovo.. <3


Stariji postovi

ljubav..ljubomora..ceznja..bol..i tome slicno..

Nesto o meni..

Megi O'Farel
Jos ne mogu da verujem da si otisao. Pre nego sto mi se ovo dogodilo, budila bi se i u delicu sekunde samo se pitala zasto mi grudi pritiska ta tuga i zasto mi je jastuk mokar. Stalno sam zaboravljala, posto mi je jednostavno bilo apsurdno da postojim bez tebe. Apsurdno

New Moon
Koliko god sam se trudila da ne mislim na njega nisam se trudila da zaboravim.Plasila sam se-kasno nocu kada je iscrpljenost usled nedostatka sna slamala moje odbrambene mehanizme-da mi jeste sve izmicalo.Da je moj mozak kao sito i da jednog dana necu moci da se setim tacne boje njegovih ociju,dodira njegove hladne koze ili boje njegovog glasa.Nisam mogla da mislim na njih, ali morala sam da ih zapamtim.Morala sam da verujem u samo jedno-da bih mogla da zivim-morala sam da znam da on posoji.To je sve.Sve drugo sam mogla da podnesem.Dokle god je on postojao

...
Paralizovao me je taj osecaj da mi je neko probusio ogromnu rupu u grudima isecajuci sve vitalne organe i ostavljajuci oko ivica neravne,nezalecene posekotine koje su nastavile da zigaju i krvare uprkos proticanju vremena.Na svesnom nivou sam znala da su mi pluca jos citava, a ipak sam se borila za vazduh i u glavi mi se vrtelo kao da su svi moji napori uzaludni.Mora da mi je srce i dalje kucalol, ali nisam mogla da cujem puls u usima.Ruke su mi bile plave od hladnoce.Sklupcala sam se ka unutra grleci rebra kako bih se odrzala u komadu....

Neke pesme koje ja obozavam..

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